Monday, June 09, 2008

How to tell your boss that you're pregnant


There are a few rare times when you are obligated to get personal with your boss. Announcing that you are pregnant is one of them, and it can be a daunting task when faced with possible discrimination.

Suddenly assumptions are made about you: your physical appearance will change, your mental and emotional state may be affected, and you will be taking a maternity leave - meaning that your team is down a person for an extended period of time and there's nothing your manager can legally do about it. It might not be the happiest of news for your manager to hear, but here are some ways to mitigate their concerns from early on.

Never ever tell your boss that you are trying to conceive. If you have any common sense you won't tell your boss (or coworkers for that matter) that you are trying to get pregnant. You can work around it if it comes up in casual conversation by saying "someday we want kids" or changing the subject by talking about the things you want to do before you start a family. On a rare occasion your manager may be cool about it, but you never know, and you don't want to have speculation going around (and getting passed up on new opportunities at work), so play it safe and keep this kind of personal info to yourself. Who knows, it could take months or years to get pregnant and you don't want your coworkers to try and plan around it.

Wait as long as you possibly can to tell your boss. After you find out you're pregnant, keep this "secret" to yourself. Err on the side of caution because it's possible that you may result in a miscarriage (doctors estimate that up to 30% of pregnancies do). Even if everything appears healthy with the pregnancy there's no reason to have this news floating around for eight months or so and giving your manager more leeway to second-guess your worth on the team or what projects to assign to you. If you have morning sickness, try to control it and make up excuses if needed ("there must be a bug floating around" or "I'm on a new diet") until it's absolutely necessary to tell. For most women this is when you start really showing (as far along as 4-5 months if it's your first). Until then reserve your excitement and discussion about having a baby with your close friends and family, as hard as it may be!

The announcement: Think before you speak. So you've held it in for several weeks or months and now you're ready to tell your boss. Time it around a successful completion of a project or milestone. Give your boss every impression that you will be as willing and capable as ever to work at the same level, and have an idea for how much maternity leave you plan to take. This will show your manager that you are responsible and will put them more at ease with your leave time. And by all means don't exacerbate the whole situation after you've made the announcement by bringing up your growing belly at every conversation with coworkers. This could lead to casual sexism in the workplace, especially from men. You will get enough attention as it is, and you want to show that you can gracefully juggle your professional career with your not-so-personal-anymore life situation. 

With any luck your manager will be more excited about your announcement than worried, and he/she will feel confident that you will be as productive and valuable an employee as ever. And, of course, try not to stress yourself out too much about it all because in the end it's a natural process that many working women successfully make it through (and extra stress isn't good for the baby anyway).

If you're at all like me and feel you've made the most of your early twenties, your late twenties can be an exciting time for starting a family. After all the average age in the U.S. for having your first child is 25, and you're not getting any younger!
Posted by Melanie Lopez at 22:05:09 | Permanent Link | Comments (0) |

Friday, December 21, 2007

Do’s & Don’ts of Interviewing: How to make them want you

Last week I saw perhaps the most brilliant interviewing technique and wondered "why didn’t I think of that myself?" I was asked to be one of the interviewers for an opening on my team and was blown away by how well this one candidate did across the board despite being the underdog on paper.

Don’t stress out. "How do you deal with stress?" is one of the top ten interview questions (in some form or another). It’s because no one wants to work with someone who is going to freak out easily. This particular candidate could have easily been stressed out from being at the wrong building and then the wrong conference room (on accident because of last-minute changes on our part) making him 20 minutes late to the interview, but instead he just smiled and said with a chuckle how great of a start it was for the day.

Do show your passion. Despite my frustration with the beginning chaos I couldn’t help but like the guy. His passion and enthusiasm were infectious. I found myself trying to think of how his ideas could work for our team and picturing him sitting in the empty cube across from me. Providing examples of your innovation and strategic thinking do wonders for your interview.

Don’t be perfect. Nobody’s perfect right? If you have the perfect answers and ask the perfect questions and appear to always be successful the interviewers are not going to believe you, even if they smile and nod. Instead, be honest about a time when you were unsuccessful and how you dealt with it. Show your tenacity by examples of how you challenged a manager or project team on something that you knew wasn’t right, even if your idea didn’t win out in the end. Be willing to work in an imperfect workplace and be adaptable to change.

Do brag about how much you’ll be missed. Demonstrate how valuable you are to your company in a casual way. This candidate was the only one who told us how disappointed his teammates said they would be if he left – and how they all agreed to take the others with them if one ever left. I came in to the interview wanting him to prove to me what he could do for our company and left feeling the exact opposite.

Do have recommendations on your Linked In profile. If you don’t have a profile - start making connections now. It’s an easy way market yourself and your capabilities in a less formal environment. The recommendations were invaluable to me as an interviewer – there’s something about reading a spontaneous recommendation from someone that makes it more genuine. Oftentimes the recommendations from your friends and colleagues can demonstrate your true personality better than a 30-minute interview or resume.

Don’t send a thank-you note right away. Don’t skip this vital step, but do wait at least 2-3 days. E-mailing the people who interviewed you the very next day may seem a little too eager. Being seen as overbearing and borderline desperate is that last thing you want. Showing them that you’re in no hurry can be your best negotiating tool (even if you are itching at your heels to leave).

The candidate’s technique to make me feel like we were recruiting HIM instead of him looking for a job with us was exactly how it should be. The hiring process is a two-way evaluation and I think we early careerists sometimes forget that.

Posted by Melanie Lopez at 14:26:50 | Permanent Link | Comments (0) |

Monday, December 03, 2007

Negotiating your first corporate salary


It's that time of year again where I must send my accomplishments of the year to the Big B in hopes of a raise and bonus. This brought me to remember my first salary negotiation all of two years ago. I can’t stress enough how important it is that you negotiate for a higher first corporate salary. Sure you are grateful that they are actually going to hire you, but you also have to think about your future salary and annual raises.

In a Forbes.com article, Chris Fusco, vice president of compensation at Salary.com, says negotiating often results in "about 10 percent improvement on the initial offer."
If you start at $35,000 annual salary, then with annual raises of about 3% you will still be making under $40,000 in 5 years. If you start at $40,000 with the same raises you’ll be over $45,000. That’s almost $10,000 difference between where you would have started to where you could be in five years.


Do your research first. Go to salary.com or industry journals to find out the average salary for that job. Also do research on the company and take into consideration the benefits that the company might consider compensation as part of the offer. Some employers offer up to 30% of the salary in benefits and most salary calculators don't take this into consideration.

Ask for a day to think about it. If your employer won’t let you take at least a day to think about the offer, then they are not worth your time. This gives you time to sleep on it and refer back to your research. After all this is a big decision for you and even if you’re really excited, you still need to sleep on it.

I had an experience once where I was offered a part-time job and I asked the manager if I could get back to her within 24 hours so I could think about it and make sure I wouldn’t have any conflicts with the hours, but she said that I had to tell her right then and there. Well I said I couldn’t accept it and the hiring manager was upset that I had “wasted” her time. Then lo and behold two weeks later she couldn’t find anyone else with my qualifications and asked me if I was still available, but unfortunately for her I had already taken a job with someone else. I hope she learned a valuable lesson.

Give yourself a confidence boost. Before you go in to negotiate do whatever you need to do to get that extra boost. Penelope Trunk tells about what boosters work for her, such as dressing up for work. It might be a special caffeine drink, wearing your “power” tie, or getting up early to eat breakfast (early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise!). The extra boost will go a long way.

Remember the least they can do is say no. My mom always said that. When you go in to negotiate remember that they have given you an offer and they want you to work for them. Fusco recommends saying something like "Based on my understanding of the job, the company's needs, and the skills and experience I bring, I feel I'm worth $5,000 more than what you're offering me." Usually they will meet you somewhere in the middle. At the very least, they would say no and you will still have the original offer. You might be able to negotiate other things than just the salary, such as vacation days, flexible schedules, or a hiring bonus.
It may be nerve-wracking, but you will be proud of yourself that you negotiated well and were professional about it. Your manager will be impressed (and usually expect) that you will negotiate. Your wallet will thank you, too.
Posted by Melanie Lopez at 11:34:08 | Permanent Link | Comments (0) |

Friday, October 05, 2007

Why you shouldn’t be nice to everyone

I’m generally a happy person, but there are times when I’m not smiling at work. I may be concentrating on a report, thinking of ideas, just had a frustrating conversation, concerned about someone, or so on. I don’t think anyone could smile throughout the day and really mean it.

 

There are also some people who are paid to be nice, like receptionists for example, so they can be approachable for guests, etc. That’s part of their job. There are some people out there though who are “too” nice, and have ulterior motives for doing so. These people put on a fake smile and ask everyone how their day is going, and force conversations with people just to say they “know” them.  

 

Instead of this superficial nicety, just be genuinely nice to people you respect. You could lose respect quickly by being overly friendly. Most people can see right through it and it can discredit your persona for the long-term. Here are three reasons not to be nice to everyone:

 

  1. You’ll be the “nice” guy. This is never a compliment you want. The person saying this obviously couldn’t think of anything more valuable about you then being “nice” because you over-exaggerate the very meaning of the word.
  2. Co-workers won’t take you serious. Being too nice to people will automatically mark you as a pushover. Unless your co-workers only want to hear “nice” things from you, they will likely not consider you a credible person to offer critique.
  3. You’ll be passed over for promotions. Good managers know when to be tough and stand up for their employees. If you’re too nice, how can your manager trust you to stand up to people if it could ruin your “nice” image?
Posted by Melanie Lopez at 12:56:19 | Permanent Link | Comments (1) |