My Gen Y Life

If anyone’s opinion about your professional skills matters, it’s your boss’s. This person has the authority to review your work and could promote, demote, or fire you at a moment’s notice. You might think you are in good standing with your boss, but have you won him/her over?

It’s part strategy and part kindergarten methodology. You have to understand your boss’s style. Is he/she an analytics person or a creative person? Tailor your reports to match. Is he/she casual or all business professional? Monitor what you say and do to complement that. Take time to observe all aspects of how your boss conducts business and how he/she rewards team members for their efforts.

The second part is the kindergarten methodology. Not much skills to this besides wanting to be “the favorite”. Going above and beyond (albeit in actual deliverables, not letting yourself drone into massive overtime. Also see the 4-hour Workweek) is one of the most noticeable ways. Careful not to look too much like boss’s pet though; other coworkers may notice and get catty about it if they feel you’re not deserving of the attention.

Ultimately though the secret to winning over your boss can be summed up as — making your boss look good. If you’re on top of your game (and delivering what your boss has in mind) you will undoubtedly make your boss look better to the person he/she reports to, and in return you will be rewarded.

Some bosses will unfortunately take your good efforts and pirate them as their own, but what it comes down to is that you’re reporting to him/her, whose responsibility it is to make sure things get done. I don’t agree with this manager approach - I feel that a boss (or anyone) should always acknowledge others’ contributions - but sometimes it’s the start to getting noticed and winning over your boss. If this should continue to happen though for an extended period of time you might consider moving on!

Suddenly assumptions are made about you: your physical appearance will change, your mental and emotional state may be affected, and you will be taking a maternity leave - meaning that your team is down a person for an extended period of time and there’s nothing your manager can legally do about it. It might not be the happiest of news for your manager to hear, but here are some ways to mitigate their concerns from early on.

Wait as long as you possibly can to tell your boss. After you find out you’re pregnant, keep this “secret” to yourself. Err on the side of caution because it’s possible that you may result in a miscarriage (doctors estimate that up to 30% of pregnancies do). Even if everything appears healthy with the pregnancy there’s no reason to have this news floating around for eight months or so and giving your manager more leeway to second-guess your worth on the team or what projects to assign to you. If you have morning sickness, try to control it and make up excuses if needed (“there must be a bug floating around” or “I’m on a new diet”) until it’s absolutely necessary to tell. For most women this is when you start really showing (as far along as 4-5 months if it’s your first). Until then reserve your excitement and discussion about having a baby with your close friends and family, as hard as it may be!

The announcement: Think before you speak. So you’ve held it in for several weeks or months and now you’re ready to tell your boss. Time it around a successful completion of a project or milestone. Give your boss every impression that you will be as willing and capable as ever to work at the same level, and have an idea for how much maternity leave you plan to take. This will show your manager that you are responsible and will put them more at ease with your leave time. And by all means don’t exacerbate the whole situation after you’ve made the announcement by bringing up your growing belly at every conversation with coworkers. This could lead to casual sexism in the workplace, especially from men. You will get enough attention as it is, and you want to show that you can gracefully juggle your professional career with your not-so-personal-anymore life situation. 

If you’re at all like me and feel you’ve made the most of your early twenties, your late twenties can be an exciting time for starting a family. After all the average age in the U.S. for having your first child is 25, and you’re not getting any younger!

Changing your career within the same company can be an incredible benefit for you (and your retirement account), especially in a market where employment rates are down.  Companies love hiring internally for several reasons, but there are some benefits for you too.

Internal applicants get higher priority in the hiring process. Most managers feel obliged and HR recruiters encourage them to interview any internal applicants for a position first, while external applicants are more scrutinized. One note though – don’t tell your boss until you are in the final rounds for a position. You don’t want to cause a commotion when you might not get the job.

Internal transfers are less expensive. You’ll likely not get as big of a raise by transferring internally compared to moving to a new company, but you can interview during your work hours instead trying to hide your mystery appointments. You also don’t have to worry about not having a paycheck right away with the new job, or worrying about losing your benefits. The company benefits from not having to pay as much recruiting costs.

Easier transition period. Instead of leaving the company, you may be able to start training for your new job during work hours and be available to train the person who is filling your old shoes. Careful not to let the latter take away from your new job though. Let your replacement and former boss know that you are not “on call” just because you’re a few floors away, and specify how much time you will spend on transitioning.

Decreased learning curve for new job. Learning how the company works can take a lot of time. While you may still be new to department processes and people, you are already privy to the inner workings of the company and can get up to speed much quicker than if you were new.

So don’t be afraid to regularly look at your company’s job postings! (More employees do it than you think.) Your next career move could be right under your nose!

Knowing where to cross the line on helping out others can make or break your career. My approach to taking care of my husband when he’s hurt or ill taught me a great lesson about what I should or shouldn’t do at work if I want to be successful.

When I came home from work one day I found my DH sitting on the couch with his hand lying limp above his head and a miserable look on his face. He was supposed to be at class already so I asked him what was wrong. The poor guy had a ‘man cut’ (if you haven’t seen it, view the “man cold” on YouTube). He had accidentally cut his thumb with a razor knife when opening a package and it was making him feel lightheaded so he was holding his hand above his head to stop the throbbing - for three hours. Unfortunately, he wouldn’t get much sympathy from me. My approach is self-service: you do what you need to do to get better and move on. I never got doted on by my parents unless I had a life-threatening injury. With four of us girls in the house my parents had no room for a bunch of whiners – we were taught to “toughen up” and chastened that we “should have known better.” It was a rare incident to be catered on and oftentimes made us miss out on doing what the others were doing, so we learned quickly that there was no benefit to being sick or injured very long.

Some guys may have been brought up with similar nurturing styles from their parents, but it’s common belief that men have less tolerance for pain. Therefore, a minor cut for my husband is suddenly much more severe than if I were to have a cut. At one point his self-pity reached an all-time high when he said that he didn’t feel it was “safe for him to drive,” which is why he had to miss his night classes. On the business side, women generally tend to put up with more “pain” than men and are more willing to help people out. I learned from my experience with my husband how important it is not to let others take advantage of you and to set a precedent from the beginning. If I had given in and done everything for my husband when he was perfectly capable, he would likely expect the same thing to happen the next time around. If you’ve ever had to train a new person to do your former job, you know how easy it is to just “do it for them” rather than teach them how and why you did it. For some coworkers the old adage applies where if you give an inch they take a mile – if you step outside your responsibilities to do their work once they will expect it again. Before you know it, you will be extremely frustrated and they will be getting the credit for all of your work.

So next time someone at work asks you to do something for them, make sure you think twice about how you will respond. If you decide to help them out, make sure they know it is a favor and that you normally wouldn’t be responsible for that. Although you may feel “bad” at first, it will be for your benefit in the end.

There is a short span of time where you are no longer a teenager and not yet have all the responsibilities of adulthood, marriage, and mortgages. This can be the best time of your life or it can be a waste. Before you plunge into “full” adulthood take my advice as someone who has passed through this era.

You will make more critical decisions in these years than at any other time in your life. Take a second to let that sink in. Think about it – you decide where to get your degree, what career to pursue, where you will go after college (and possibly meet your future spouse), and what friends you will let influence your life. My life would be so different right now if I had tweaked any of these decisions.

Make the most of your college years. Not just the partying part, but take advantage of the opportunities you have as a college student to travel abroad, compete in a sport or club, take part in a variety of eye-opening experiences, and enjoy every day you have. It won’t be long before every day starts to look the same and the years just fly by.

Open up as many choices for yourself as you can. While this could be a detriment by having too many good choices to choose from, it’s better than not having any. Don’t pigeon-hole yourself into one area or one route because if you change your mind, it may be too late. Although I had to turn down a couple great opportunities, I was able to choose the one that felt right and didn’t feel like I was pushed into it.

Lastly, try not to worry about the “what-if’s” too much. There is a sense of destiny that things will happen and opportunities will present themselves as they were meant to be. But who wants to stand around waiting?  You’re more likely to find what you’re looking for if you try than if you just wait for it to come to you.

If you’re like me, you’ve felt the wallet crunch as the gas prices have reached historic highs. I work in the city so parking is not cheap. I’m not ready to give up my SUV for a squash-able Mini Cooper or spacecraft-looking Toyota Prius either, so I take public transportation to work instead – which is virtually FREE, thanks to my employer’s “environmental” benefits.

So here’s what I’ve learned in the last few  years of riding buses, vanpools, and subways –

Learn the ropes quickly. Be ready when the bus/van/subway comes to your stop. If you need to, have correct change or your pass in hand and get on as quickly as you can. Everyone has a place to go and when you are slow, you slow everyone else down. If you have a question, get on and ask it after you sit down. Also be ready for your stop when it comes up, and don’t whine if you miss it because you weren’t paying attention.

Leave as much space as possible. At least in America , we like our space. Generally riders fill up every other seat until it gets too crowded (with people typically preferring the seats in the front or closest to the doors over the backseats). Don’t sit directly next to someone unless you intend to chat (quietly) with them or if there’s absolutely no more seats. I would even take an empty handicap/senior seat before sitting next to someone to avoid the grunts (especially on a bus). If you got on early and someone is coming to sit next to you, politely lift your bags off of the seat next to you and don’t be a seat hog (unless you have really good reason you don’t want that person sitting next to you).

Remember to have 6-inch voices. Nobody wants to hear about your brother’s wife’s friend who has a knitting business or listen to you gripe about how much you have to do for your inept mother-in-law.  Keep the drama to yourself. Even if the person next to you is interested, it’s not likely the rest of the people on board are.

Bring something to listen to or read so you don’t have to stare at people. It makes people feel really awkward when you’re staring in their direction and it’s not clear what you’re staring at. If you must stare, look outside the window closest to you or put your head down.

Leave the driving to the driver. One of the best things about “riding” is that you don’t have to drive. Forget about the traffic and enjoy the ride (literally). The last thing the driver needs is a dozen backseat drivers giving – or yelling - out their suggestions. Public transportation drivers usually have set routes and set detours, and they are paid to be safe drivers. If they need your help, they will ask.

Do you have any to add?

Some people take the subway, some ride the bus, selfish people drive alone, and I ride the vanpool. It’s like a cross between a carpool and a bus. You get the benefits of being able to call when you’re late (or if they’re late) but you don’t have to deal with the drama of a one-on-one carpool, or so I thought…

Everything was going fine until DQ (drama queen) showed up a few months ago. You know those kind of people too – they look for drama and thrive on drama every day. They complain about petty things and make comments to try and get reactions from people, and get nosy about other people’s business. These people are not allowed in my friend circle (unless you’re my sister and I don’t have a choice) because they cause more harm than harmony. Don’t get me wrong, I can get along with them, but it’s not my choice of company. Unfortunately even as a professional you may still have to deal with a DQ every now and then.

Here’s what I’ve learned about how to deal with the DQ’s in your life:

Don’t join the pity party – Misery loves company, and so do DQ’s. If you have a friend who is complaining and whining about something don’t be afraid to stand up to them if you disagree, and by all means don’t encourage it. Beware because DQ’s can be very persuasive and believable.

Take the high road – DQ’s have probably been this way since high school or earlier, and somehow not outgrown the fetish with drama in their lives. Act like the professional you are and don’t make a big deal about things that aren’t really a big deal, even if DQ thinks they are.

Nice guys finish last – If you’re lucky the DQ will become bored with the drama-free life you live and move on, but if not be a nice person and follow the above steps and you’ll be rewarded in the end. You might also call this “flying below the radar” so you’re not noticed too much by DQ, and therefore their attention will be given to other people.

Update: DQ left the vanpool because she didn’t get to sit in the front as much as she wanted – lame!

It’s Friday and I wanted to add some humor to today’s post. Every now and then people ask me if they can borrow an office supply, maybe a stapler or a pen or a chair.  And then sometimes there are strange requests and you’re not sure why they request them, or just get a kick out of it. Here are a couple strange requests I’ve had.

Do you have a comb and scissors? A coworker once asked me because she was due for a haircut. She has long hippie hair and lives by herself so I guess to her it would be obvious to have someone at work trim it for her.

Do you have a flashlight? My boss asked around for a flashlight recently and when I later asked why he said that his doctor wanted him to look at his throat and tell him over the phone what it looked like. He was embarrassed to ask one of his team members to look down his throat so he took a flashlight into the bathroom and looked for himself.

Do you have any extra shoes? This was actually a request from me. One day early in my career I was wearing some cheap sandals with heavy soles when suddenly the straps ripped apart from the soles while I was coming back from the bathroom. I hobbled over to my coworker (who happened to be hippie gal) and asked her if she had any extra shoes. To my delight she had an extra pair of pumps in her file cabinet.

Do you have any interesting or strange requests from coworkers?

I knew the honeymoon period was over in my marriage when my DH told me to “stop whining” when I stuck out my pouty lip about something instead of him saying that I was “cute”. After the honeymoon period there is a tendency to criticize more and forgive less.

My coworkers that have been at the company for a long time (7+ years) tend to criticize the most. They see the “writing on the wall” and read the “tea leaves”. When they immediately deject an idea because of what they think they foresee, they breed negativity and give up. “We’d never get funding for that – don’t plan on it” or “They never recognize our accomplishments – we’re never gonna be rewarded.” I just want to ask them, have you ever thought about doing something different? Maybe you’re not communicating well enough to the boss – maybe there’s something you can do about it!

Am I just naïve for having optimism about making change? I think not. If there ever needed to be change it’s now when we are in a recession market and need to be more creative with how we spend our money and how we prove our value to the company.

Maybe I’m focusing on the small issues? Some issues that I care deeply about at work may be in the very back corner of the CEO’s mind, behind a door in a box. In order for them to surface I need to be able to connect them to a “big picture” objective, and I need my boss or an executive sponsor to support me and not just put my idea aside. Small issues can become big issues if they are not addressed early on.

Am I in the wrong department? It’s no secret that some departments (usually the sales force or other central business) get more attention than the departments that “keep the lights on”.  Consequently, they tend to be more influential. This group is a key supporter for making a change at work.

Is the honeymoon period over? Perhaps I was coddled as a new employee and everyone smiled and nodded when I would suggest something, and in the backroom say how “ambitious” and “good spirited” I was. Now that I’ve been here a couple years and have gone through the “test of time” they are more honest with me and we can all wallow in our trials together.

Is anyone else feeling this way at work? Please comment.